Choosing the right critters for your small farm

It is 10 p.m. I am chasing a couple of 200-pound hogs around a field in the pitch-black darkness. Actually, six of us are chasing the hogs.

The hogs are winning.

I should explain.

My 16-year-old son and his friend are raising hogs to enter in the 4-H competition at the upcoming county fair. They decided to build a new pen for the hogs where there is more shade.

Our job was to help them move the hogs from Point A — the old pen — to Point B — the new pen.

The hogs preferred Point A, so there we were, hollering, waving our arms, cajoling and cursing these hogs.

In the dark.

The hogs didn't seem to mind the commotion. For them, I'm sure it was great sport. They ran, weaving and bobbing through our legs, as we tried to coax them toward their new home.

After what seems like an eternity, the hogs made a dash back into their old pen and laid down. They weren't about to move.

Game, set, match. They had outwitted, me, two of my sons, his friend and his friend's parents.

We did what politicians often do: We declared victory and surrendered.

"We'll try again tomorrow," we all agreed as we headed back toward the house.

All I could think of is a conversation I had had some years ago, when we lived in Southern Minnesota. There, hogs are king. Actually, they are king, queen and everything else. Our neighbors alone raised more hogs each year than the entire human population of the county.

The one part of the job our neighbors didn't care much for was loading the hogs for the trip to the slaughterhouse.

Now I know why. When a hog gets it into his head that he doesn't want to go someplace, it takes more than a few kind words to change his mind. Multiply that by hundreds of hogs, and you've got a lot of work on your hands.

Living in the country is wonderful. Often folks take advantage of their elbow room to raise animals. Some are raised for meat; some are raised as pets; and some start out as the former and end up as the latter.

On our acreage, we raised chickens. We converted a portion of our granary into a coop. We fenced off a portion of the area outside the coop so the chickens could get fresh air during the day. At night, we put the chickens inside, where they were protected from coyotes and other critters.

I never really bonded with our chickens. In fact, for me, the highlight of raising chickens was loading them into our van for the trip to the slaughterhouse. That's when I finally decided that all that work was worth it.

Though many people milk a cow or raise a few beef cattle, horses, sheep, goats, llamas, alpacas, mules, miniature donkeys or any number of other critters on their small acreages, my favorite of all time were ducks. We had two — Click and Clack — and they were the most entertaining critters I've ever been around.

Our two oldest kids were little at the time, and these ducks would follow them everywhere they went — around the yard, into the machine shed and around the barn. Everyday, it was a small-scale parade as kids and ducks made the rounds.

But the most fun came when it rained. As the raindrops fell, Click and Clack would stand on the driveway in anticipation. When a drop hit them, they'd swivel their heads sideways to look up at the sky. When a drop hit them in the eye, they'd shake their head.

Then the party started. Mindless quacking, splashing, running around in circles — the ducks did a perfect impersonation of a teenager. It could be noon or midnight — it didn't matter. When the rain fell, the party started.

I'm certainly no expert on livestock, but I do know that anyone moving to the country for the first time needs to think twice about which animals, if any, they might want to raise.

Some, like a milk cow, require constant care and attention. Others, in varying degrees, require less. The best advice I ever got was to talk with someone who owns the breed of animals you're considering and ask lots of questions. Among them:

What do they eat? Depending on the animal and your acreage, you may find that you already have just what the animals need. Other times, you may find yourself buying food. Lots of food.

How often do they eat? This is an important question, because you will find that your schedule must match the animals' feeding schedule. Chickens didn't require a lot of care, but I never skipped a feeding, either.

What type of enclosure do they require? You could find yourself learning a lot about fencing or building a coop or other enclosure if you don't already have an appropriate one.

How hardy are they? Are they susceptible to diseases? Some breeds of animals are tough as nails, while others are extremely high maintenance. You need to know that from the beginning, or you'll find yourself working for the animals — and the veterinarian — instead of the animals working for you.

One final question: Are you getting the animal for a pet or to do something with? If you know the answer to that, you're on your way to successfully raising animals on your small acreage.

Joke time: Here's a joke for you.

Question: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

Answer: With four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

I collect farm jokes. If you have any "G-rated" jokes that you would like to share, send them to me by e-mail or regular mail at the addresses listed below.

Until next time, keep it in the road.

Carl Sampson is managing editor of the Capital Press. He lived on a small farm in Southern Minnesota for seven years before moving to a farm town in Oregon four years ago. He appreciates any suggestions you have for small-acreage owners or ideas for future columns. Success stories are also welcome. His e-mail address is csampson@capitalpress.com. His postal address is in care of the Capital press, P.O. Box 2048, Salem, OR 97308.