2008 New Year's Resolutions

Now that 2008 is well under way, it’s time for my annual New Year’s resolutions, the first of which is not to stay up late ever again.

Last weekend, I was out playing with a close personal friend — my wife — until 2 a.m., and, boy, did I pay for it the next day.

Thus my first resolution for 2008 is not to stay up until 2 a.m. I’ll just ratchet it back to 1:59 a.m.

The second resolution is to lose weight. Those of you who have been reading this column during the past eight years may recall that every year I make this same resolution. This year is a bit unique, though, because I really did lose some weight last year. I started going to the gym and cut back on my doughnut intake and managed to lose 10 pounds without really trying.

So this year I’m going to drop another 10 pounds. Who knows? By the year 2015 I might be in halfway decent shape.

My next resolution is a bit ominous, because I tend to “over resolve” when it comes to setting goals. My wife gave me a gift certificate for running shoes as a Christmas present, and you know what that means. In addition to traipsing to the gym three or four times a week, I’ll have to hit the streets.

Exactly 10 years ago, I ran my last marathon. I’ve run two, so maybe it’s time to give it another go. If all else fails, I’ll go for a half-marathon. Maybe I can con one of the kids into running it with me. I’ll just peel off dollar bills as I run, and they’ll follow me anywhere.

Enough of this physical fitness stuff. I also have resolutions that  involve something more than sweat.

Like finish the book I started writing last year. With encouragement from a reader of this column, I wrote a dozen chapters of a new novel. Though I got off track during the holidays, it’s time to get with it again. I have it outlined; all I need to do is sit down and write.

Of course, that’s the easy part. The hard part is finding someone stupid — I mean, smart — enough to publish it. Otherwise, it’ll just join the other book I wrote in the drawer of my desk.

I also have a collection of nearly 400 columns that I’ve written, and will eventually need to find something to do with them. If you know of anyone who needs to wallpaper their bathroom, let me know.

Here’s something I won’t do this year: put up Christmas lights on the outside of the house. I put up several strings — just like I do every year — and every one of them blew out. Even the replacement strings I bought fizzled out.

Which means one thing. My Clark Griswold genes are failing me. So next year, I’m putting a single battery-powered candle in the window and calling it good.

Oh, and there’s one more thing I’m going to try to do more this year. It won’t take much effort, and it won’t cost money. But I know it will pay huge dividends.

The thing I’m going to do more? Smile.