My Kind of Health Care

Here it is. A brand new year and a blank slate. Let’s see what I can stir up.

I know, how about universal health care?

We all know that health care in this country is a joke. Actually, the health care’s OK; it’s paying for it that’s a joke. It boils down to the haves and have-nots. Either you have gold-plated health coverage through your employer or union or you’re like me and get by on whatever is available and affordable.

In a recent column I suggested that the federal government needs to supply universal health care. That tickled lots of folks, who believe the government can’t do anything right, let alone take care of our health needs.

So, for all of you Doubting Thomases, here’s how it would work.

First, the federal government would provide full coverage for everything up to a maximum of $5,000 per person per year. There would be no deductibles, no co-pays or anything else. The money could go for physicals, maternity costs — any health-related care.

Second, everyone in the U.S. would be required to buy health insurance with a $5,000 deductible. That way, any expenses higher than $5,000 would be fully covered.

There. I’m done.

Wait a minute, you say. The government can’t afford that. Why, that’s $1.5 trillion, give or take a few hundred billion.

Ah, grasshopper. On the contrary. In actuality, the government can’t afford not to pay it. Here’s why. That $1.5 trillion is the absolute ceiling for health-care expenses for which the U.S. government would be responsible. It includes Medicare, Medicaid and veterans. And it includes people with no insurance that land in emergency rooms and leave the hospitals to absorb the cost by overcharging the rest of us. All told, that’ll be 40 percent of the gross domestic product by the middle of this century. That makes $1.5 trillion a deal, wouldn’t you agree?

I consider myself and my family of six to be fairly average, at least when it comes to health care. During the past 20 years, the annual health-care expenses for us have run about $2,800, or $467 per person per year. That includes delivering four babies, a couple of one-week hospital stays, a gall bladder that crashed and burned and a plastic sword up the nose of one of my kids (don’t ask).

Some folks with chronic illnesses will max out that $5,000 every year, and some, like my family, won’t come close to spending that much.

Those who spend more than $5,000 a year will be covered through their insurance, which will provide 100 percent coverage.

Wait a minute, you say. Just how much will that cost? Well, getting a health-insurance quote is akin to solving a Rubik’s cube while blindfolded. Insurance companies don’t usually publish their rates, which are based on factors like age, sex, occupation, hair color and shoe size. All I know is the larger the pool of customers — the more people who buy insurance — the lower the rates.

Under my plan, you have a pool of 303 million people. I currently pay $160 a month for the six of us for $1,000 deductible coverage, so I assume — I know, assuming anything about insurance companies is dangerous — a much higher deductible would be much less.

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: my solution for universal health care.

Surely, you say, all of the geniuses running for the presidency can do better.

I’d like to see that.